Are you in distress again? Talk to me, babu.
You always catch me at the right time. I don’t know where to begin. It could have been a little thing. Yet I simply couldn’t stop myself from feeling disregarded.
Once again, that is your sentiment. Nothing to be ashamed of. Sure, we all want to feel pleasant all the time, but the truth is we are emotional being, and our surrounding will affect us. You know that very well.
As soon as I started feeling disappointed, the whole day went downhill due to my messy mind. The incident was just a blasting fuse. Then, I kept going back and forth analyzing my take on intimacy and expectation.
Oh boy, you only deal with the big questions, don’t you? This is not the first time you are frustrated about human relationship. Listen to me. It is not necessarily a bad thing. At least you continue to wrestle with your blind spots as you engage with people. Remember you used to withdraw whenever it got muddy?
A part of me still wants to hide and not face anything, but that will defeat the whole purpose of this expedition. It’s not even three months. I have already gone through loads of ups and downs.
You have become more and more at ease dealing with the crest and trough of life. Look at how far you have come. Intimacy is a tricky one. There is no magic wand to quick fix all the little disorder in our heart.
I guess all I can do is to take a deep breath and carry on my trail. People are what make a journey meaningful and memorable. I am utterly grateful for all the incredible friends I have made on the way. One little bump will not stop me from loving them!
You got it! It’s amazing to see you go from feeling shitty to becoming relieved as we conversed.
It’s TRUE! This dialog between us is therapeutic. I’m not sure how exactly it works but am so glad this blog gives us a platform to talk through my craps, haha...
Then, you know what I’m going to tell you now, dear?
Work hard on my web site & enjoy the jazz tonight! Love ya! ;)
人際關係，往往令人又愛又恨，然而真摯的友誼最終都會開花結果，多謝您！
 |
| Since I'm already doing life modeling, I might as well try modeling with cloth on. Special thanks to my friend Cedric Mprofil, who helped me with these shots for the model agencies. |
 |
| Oh yea, the rough look! The right pose may look simple, but it actually took me a long while to make it look chilled and easy. |
 |
| Here comes the Japanese kawaii look? |
 |
| What the?! |
 |
| Relaxed and comfy, just as I am. |
 |
| Look at that smile. It's from the heart! |
 |
| We also tried some alternative poses for other life modeling jobs. Soooo flexible... argh! |
 |
| The photographer in action. |
 |
| A laid back afternoon at my friend's garden. |
 |
| It's my buddy, George's birthday! Let's hang out till it's late & drunk... |
 |
| You can probably guess who the birthday boy is, hehe. |
 |
| On our way to Hackney Art Festival. What a beautiful day to be out! |
 |
| Marveling at the sun from the reflection on the canal. |
 |
| PAINT PAINT PAINT! I miss my own studio!!! Want to make some art!!!!! |
 |
| Look at how neat some artists are - NOT ME when I work. |
 |
| Everyone can enjoy art, including you. ;) |
 |
| It's always a party no matter what festival it is. |
 |
| I'm going to work in this burger place as a kitchen staff as well as waiter. So excited for the new experience! |
 |
| Can't live without music. Made a new friend after ultimate frisbee game & she took me to this Jazz festival afterward. Love spontaneity! |
hey dear, we are not the sun~ how can we expect the other planets revolve around us? every planet has its own orbit and we are not going to (able to) change the others'~ what we can do is to change our own perception of what the others do and the way they live, in fact, we gotta respect their ways of living as we are all unique being on this earth! not only does it apply to the issue of relationship, but learning to change our perception instead of any objective settings is always an elixir to unknot our heart~
ReplyDeletei know nothing about how ur disappointment was first generated since the very beginning, however, i know u r giving a try to remove the magnifier in ur hand~ bcuz u urself hv been aware that it may be jz “a little thing”…without anyone telling u the scale~ this positive awareness is very much appreciated!
know it may be rather annoying to experience “frequent” ups & downs. but no worry, the feeling of discomfort will go anyhow~ probably it will come again, but then it will go~ try get used to it at the moment, until one day, u may find it surprising that how come it doesn’t visit anymore…(it’s interesting indeed~ i can share with u a little anecdote of mine abt sleep…when i c u later ; )! )
we are all very interesting being~ try not to generalize or stereotype people/relationships simply based on the acts of some particular individuals~ be sincere, look into every single individual and u will find…
Thanks, Conney! I totally understand what you mean. :) And I'm easy most of the time, but when I start to get intimate with people, I'll also become more sensitive in some way. haha, there is no simple solution, but like you said, I just need to continue. Then, before I know it, I'll be soaring freely with nothing entangled.
ReplyDeleteI really treasure all the friends I've made along the way, so I won't let such struggle get in the way of the growth of friendships! ;)
one day, a horse wandered into a family's yard~ the horse has no identifying marks~ a teenage boy in the family offered to return the horse to the owner~ he simply mounted the horse, led it to the road, and let the horse decide which way it wanted to go~ he intervened only when the horse left the road to graze or wander into the field~ when the horse finally arrived at the yard of a neighbor several miles down the road, the neighbor asked the boy, "how did you know that that horse came from here and was our horse?"~ the boy said, "i didn't know - but the horse knew."
ReplyDeletesomehow i believe that people have, in their own natural history, the resources to overcome the problem for which they are seeking help, only that we are not yet aware~ so, dun feel desparate at the time u r getting lost, u know the way home~ and i am travelling with u on the road (at least on this blog)... ; )
Thanks for that metaphor! Love it~~ and yes, I have or some higher power has led me home whenever I was lost. And I'm truly grateful for your company all along. ;-)
ReplyDelete