Come alive

YOU DID IT! I am sooooo proud of you! This is not a dream. We made it!

Can’t believe it as well. I was literally in shock the moment I decided to write the letter to my parents.

The timing has come. Since you said yes to share your story on Chris’s second book about depression, this decision is bound to happen as you want to be true without holding anything back.

Yes, because that also means my past struggles about homosexuality along with all the other issues will be public. I would not want my family to find out about who I really am through a third source, like a book. Thus, my only option is to compose a personal letter and tell them myself.

Though they still can’t accept that part of you, they love and support you all the way. Isn’t that more than enough?

Of course, I am exceptionally grateful for their response. We don’t have to agree on everything as long as we can respect each other.

Life is such a fascinating tale. Your past 30 years were mostly about struggle. Now even your strongest chain is set loose; you will have so much more energy to live and create.

It just keeps getting better. Who knows what else will occur in the remaining time of my journey? Yet my spirit is at ease. I trust in life, and the flow is my greatest teacher.

Aren’t you a little scared cos you have no concrete plan as of now?

My faith is firm. Something will pop up sooner or later. No rush. Life is magnificent when you take your time to taste it.

You have indeed grown up, my love. Please don’t forget I will continue to be by your side when you need me.

Muah! ^,^

一個困擾我30年的難題，終於在2012年劃上句號，無須再編謊話，能夠真誠地過活，是我一直夢寐以求的人生。

上回提到，那個重要的決定，其實是一封給家人的信，內容講述我的成長經歷，由小時候被排斥、同性性取向的掙扎、與基督信仰的糾纏與分離、抑鬱邊緣的崩潰到從谷底中爬出來及今時今日的蛻變，這些他們一直不知道的事，我都一一詳述。

那些重得驚人的包袱，會隨歲月變得輕省，到時機成熟，放下的一剎那，方才發覺我真的已長大，父母家姐雖然未能認同我的性取向，但他們對我的愛與支持仍舊不變，更為我的勇氣及經歷感到自豪，這不就是《天與地》所說的和諧嗎？「不是一百個人說同一番話，是一百個人，有一百句不同的一番話之餘，而又互相尊重。」親愛的爸媽，您們才是我的驕傲。

昨夜倫敦下雪了，對上一次感受雪花的燦爛，是8年前在美國威斯康辛州實習時的冬天，久違了的嚴寒，卻剛好襯托著我熾熱温暖的內心，這九個月來天氣的變更，彷彿見證著我戲劇性的變化，連這個千年心結都被解開，未來的日子，相信只會越來越豐富，然而不用急，就讓我從容不迫，靜待故事的發展。

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Beautiful/difficult way home - depending on how you look at it.

Sunny morning after snow.

Back to modeling. What do you think about these pieces?

Brought my beloved David to Passing Clouds on his last but my first night in London. Will miss you, my love.

Farewell drink for Felix. We shall meet in Germany!

Lovely Indian dinner with Polly during my last weekend in BCN.
Notice how I look differently? Hint: Harry Potter.

The remaining gang before closing my last minute goodbye painting exhibition - living flow. Amazed at how many people actually showed up despite the cold weather, I felt compelled to make a little speech about how art met my life during this journey.

On my last day in BCN, I finally visited the famous Park Güell by Gaudi. He lived here for 20 years.

Magnificent city view from the park.

Lots of organic & natural shapes - just the way I like it.

Especially take pleasure in the rural part of the park.

Stopped by Caixa Forum - a very intriguing cultural centre.

Though the current exhibition was not impressive, I simply enjoyed spending time in this exceptional space with modern and classic architecture.

Will always remember the gorgeous night view at the port.

How many cold nights did I run pass this scene to the boat?

It would have been terrific if I had the opportunity to try one of these boats, which I walked by everyday.

Presenting my shower room and toilet!

One morning I couldn't get a hold of the organizer of the squat and waited outside for an hour. LOOK, I'm so used to posing now, lol!

My installation is site specific.

And it grows from the materials of the space.

It's coming alive!
Stay tuned for more pics on my web site later.

“I create, therefore I am.”

Many friends asked why I make art. Yes, I have a message to say, and yes, I want to inspire and stir up the passion in the world. Yet most importantly, it makes me come alive!

Calling forth all the enthusiasm, perseverance, and determination within me, I get in touch with my soul when I create. As I wrestle with my second installation in Barcelona, I have the feeling this is what I’m meant to do for life. Art is who I am and what I’m made for. The creative process is still a mystery and continues to give me insights about existence. From initial concept, development to final outcome, the energy flows in and out between the artwork and me. It gives me a platform to closely interact with my sub-conscious.

Thought I was going to focus on teaching and painting this time. How do I end up constructing another huge piece again? Well, it’s as simple as saying yes to the organizer of a squat when he asked if I would like to build something for an exhibition in mid-February. What did I say about being open to the flow of life again? I’m just speechless.

On the first day of 2012, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. It required all my courage, wisdom and now is also training my patience as I’m waiting for the response for a long time already. Cannot reveal too much at this stage, but my guts tell me it will be a major turning point for my whole being.

Less than two weeks before I take off to London. While working hard on my second baby here, I shall continue to enjoy life on the boat, run by the beach, dance in contact improvisation, and causal hang out with friends. Moreover, I’m discussing a possible collaboration with the art studio I’m teaching at the moment. Will share more once confirmed!

「頂，濕鬼晒，點瞓呀？」

零晨兩時多，累透準備睡才發現我的安枕之處被中午洗船時漏的水弄濕了，夜已深，我能夠何去何從？經過幾番試驗後，終於在細小的床褥上找到一個較乾的位置，把小暖爐開到最大，懶理身邊的情況便昏昏入睡去，第二天醒來，一切都被抽乾，包括我在內。

在船上生活確實是一件有趣的事，麻雀雖小，五臟俱存，一早起床，打開上蓋，便是廣闊蔚藍的天空，而且可以在日光照耀下煮早餐，感受太陽的溫度，偶然又會體驗狂奔公厠差點崩潰的快感和沖涼時熱水隨時加强或消失的刺激，家的概念在不知不覺間已進化，無須再局限於同一地點，現在我的廚房睡房在船上，浴室於會所，客廳、衣帽間與工作室混為一體，在別人眼中看似不舒適的居住環境，我卻視為難能可貴的經歷，在一艘巴賽隆納的帆船生活六個多星期，實在是個可一不可再的機會，我正好好珍惜。

2012年的第一天，下了一個重要的決定，除了要鼓起前所未有的勇氣和智慧，還在訓練我的耐性，想做的已做了，現正靜候結果，我有預感這個真誠的行動將會把我的下半生改寫，確實沒有想過，這趟歐洲之旅會遊到這個人生轉捩點。

另外，本打算乖乖畫畫和教學的我，竟誤打誤撞獲邀到一所squat建一件藝術裝置，Squat是一些棄置多年的地方，在沒有人監管下，被區內人仕進佔，大多會成為住所，有些則化身社區中心或表演派對場地，在寸金尺土的香港，簡直是天方夜譚，但歐洲多個城市卻非常流行這種文化，而我今次創作的地點，正在籌辦一個二月中的展覽，開幕那天其實我已回到倫敦，所以解說的重任將會交回作品自己，好讓參觀者親自感受。

最後不到兩星期的衝刺，我在努力創作的同時，仍不忘抽空到海邊跑步、參加即興舞蹈、與友人相聚⋯ 除此之外，現正與任教的這所藝術教室商討一個合作計劃，待一切成事後，再和大家分享！

Presenting my lovely bedroom! Wonder what would happen if I really sleep with my legs up like this.

Peeping out from my little hole.

Making my most favorite easy meal - tomato with eggs in the compact cooking station.

My home is moving!

The perfect day to sail. BTW, we were in a race, which we were the only one in the medium size category. How could we not win?

I'm probably the lousiest crew on the boat. Sorry, my HK sailing instructors, I have forgotten everything!

How the boat looks when the wings are down.

Beautiful sunset on my way home.

Another splendid sunset by the beach!

Drap Art exhibition with upcycle works - I especially like the shape made out of tapes on the right.

To be honest, this is not a very inspiring show. Most pieces were mainly cute design instead of stretching the materials to spark up challenging concepts.

Thanks to Skype, the hearts of Hong Kong and Barcelona were connected at that very moment.

Spain has an intriguing tradition of eating one grape per bell sound right pass midnight in New Year's eve. By the end of the 12th count, our mouths would be stuffed. We were all paying close attention to the count down program on the computer.