Empty visit

今天沒有任何計劃，難得又天朗氣清，決定在家附近走走，找一所有落地玻璃的咖啡室邊望街邊寫下近日的感受。

友人的住所位於Shoreditch，是一個頗有個性的地區，四處都是特色小店，街道上人來人往，各有自己的獨特氣質，一個中年人眉頭深鎖，帶著匆匆步伐，轉眼便略過，那邊廂有個衣著光鮮的鬚根型男從容不迫地與手電裏的朋友談天漫步，腦裏忽然浮起剛才閒逛時所遇到一位面有瘀痕女子的模樣，不知道他們背後有著怎麼樣的故事？我不會亦不可能知，他和他和她曾經歷過而帶他們到這一刻狀態的心路歷程，其實我極喜歡退一步去奇想，我們每個人在這大世界電影中所扮演的角色。

回到倫敦後，腳步放慢了，耐心工作，為下一站儲錢，亦參加了不少新奇的活動和企劃，繼續體驗這個多姿多彩的城市，然而夜欄人靜處時，我發現內心深處仍有一種令人麻疹的空虛感，以往它一出現，我便會變得不知所措，彷彿整個人的價值都被抽空，近日它又於夜深造訪，我承認它始終有種壓倒性的威力，淡淡的孤單及無力感亦會隨之而來，趁機來一個空洞派對。現階段雖未能參透箇中深層的因由，但我正學習與之相處，提醒自己放鬆、放手、放開對某些人和事的執著，無須過份緊張，這過客遲早會脫下神秘的面紗，慶幸沒有再陷入極端混亂中，深呼吸一口，我仍活著，多好。

完成這篇博客的一剎那，有新動向了，四月將會回巴塞隆納一趟，然後經布拉格過維也納，來一個三星期的小旅程，另外我的藝術家駐場計劃獲批了，七八月會到波蘭的別爾斯科-比亞瓦市讓生命藝術進行另一場革命，期待！

The feeling is back at night.  I shall not give in.  Take a deep breath.  I am still alive.  

As much as I don’t welcome this empty feeling into my heart, it will find its way to creep in once in a while.  Recently, it lingers around with its buddies, loneliness and helplessness before I went to bed.  Though I’m no longer striped naked by its presence, I admit it still has an overwhelming force.  Perhaps the mystery of its origin will be revealed in time.  Nonetheless, it is a not-so-friendly reminder to let go of my control freak nature.  I’m learning to live with whatever comes along.  Well, at least I took it easier and didn’t fall into the intense chaos this time around.

There is no genius here.  Just an ordinary guy tries to follow his heart and lives life to the fullest.  Problems and feelings will come and go.  I won’t give up.  Life is worth striving for. 

London has been quite bright these days.  I try to absorb the light whenever possible.  This afternoon, I took a 45 minutes walk in the golden sun to meet my friend in Covent Garden.  Foot is the best transportation here.  It is cheap, healthy, and reliable.  5 weeks have passed since I came back.  I continue to labor for saving and explore stimulating activities while proactively waiting for the next chapter to unfold.  

At last, some doors are opened.  I’m going on a three weeks trip to Barcelona, Prague, and Vienna in April.  It will be lovely to see some good friends as well as explore another part of Europe.  And guess what?  I got accepted to an artist residency in Bielsko-Biala city, Poland!  Wohoo!!!  Will be going there for July and August.  It’s time to make some art again.  Can’t wait for another art-life revolution.

People watching while writing is fun!

My little birthday gathering.  Gotta love everyone's natural expression.

OMG, I'm cutting pictures of my family while Cedric is trying to act cool in my pink jumper.

Am I a roaster or......  THANK YOU, sis, for the beautiful cake.

Real party time!

HUNG OVER the next day...  Let's wander to Saatchi Gallery!

These figures have such elegant forms.

Left: an installation with waxed cloths.  Right: doesn't it remind you of Matisse?

What are you looking at, kiddo?  No more food for you.

Full of hope.

Spotted this scene on my way to a modeling session in Haringey.

 Greyhound in a life drawing class?

Modeling also took me to Isle of Wight.  It's a gorgeous small island.

Oh, how I miss nature.

Too bad it was too foggy to see those famous cliffs in the isle.

Who are these people waiting for?

ME ME ME ME ME....

My friend body painted me for a short performance in this life-drawing session.

Yes, I was performing naked. 

And loving it.

Mr. Giraffe said seat back, relax, and enjoy the show.

The tropical glasshouse in Kew Gardens.

This picture would be perfect without that frigging sign in the middle.

Are you ready?

There were many tourists in the garden, but we managed to sneak into the conservation area for...

this

that

and yea,

you get the idea.

This is one of the most engaging shows I've seen for a long time.  She is Yayoi Kusama 草間彌生 at Tate Modern.

Captivating shapes and colors.

Spectacular installation.  I especially enjoy the infinite feeling from the room on the right.

Sunset in London.  Still charming.