Sunday, December 30, 2012

NOW


2012 will end tonight. I woke up before the sun without planning.  Just reviewed what happened this past year again.  I realize the biggest lesson I learned is to live in the moment.  When I was traveling, I had no baggage of the past and future but made decision based on NOW.  A risk/opportunity is presented before me.  Only a moment is needed to take it or miss it.  The rest is history.  Many people may spend a whole life running away from the past and worrying about the future.  Yet life passes by when we are not here and now.

My ego never lets me get away easily.  It is constantly under threat and will look for all possible ways to survive, including taking my whole being down.  I was there – the bottom of the pit, the wrestling ring, the isolated corner…  But I refuse to live in self-conflict anymore.  NOW it’s the time to take a step back and observe the bullshits my ego has been feeding me all my life.  All those fears, hatred, anxiety blinded me.  How could I have mistaken my ego as my true self?

Nevertheless, the only way to deal with the monstrous self is not to fight it but to be with it.  No analysis, no critique, no negotiation, no nothing.  Just simply be, as you are.  Such a presence will bring peace and shine light on the chaos.  In fact, it is just another way to live in the moment.  When a gap is created between the compulsive thoughts, we feel our breaths and come alive.

Anyhow, goodbye, ego.  In 2013, you are no longer the ruler of my heart.  I am.

天未光一早醒來,腦袋報告還有不少事務要處理,但我偏偏選擇回顧2012發生的種種,發現這一年最大的功課是活在當下,遊歷時,我沒有過去和未來的包袱,只管面對眼前一個又一個的挑戰和機會,它們不會等人,一瞬即逝,很多人窮盡一生精力與過去周旋及為未來憂慮,但卻忘記了生命其實只有現在這一刻是真實的。

「自我」從來不會輕易放過我,他經常感受到威脅,會用盡一切方法求存,甚至賠上生命也在所不惜,那些深淵、鬥場、死角我已經歷過無數次並厭倦了自我掙扎這門把戲,是時候退一步觀察「自我」一路以來在耳邊說的狗屁,原來我一直被那些恐懼、憎恨、焦慮蒙蔽了雙眼,竟把「自我」誤以為真我。

雖然如此,與這個霸度的「自我」搏鬥卻不是出路,相反我要學習與之共處,不再分析、批判、理論內的想法,靜靜聆聽,感受真我那平和的存在,簡單而言,它只是活在當下另一種演繹方式,不用思前想後,以靜制亂、以柔制剛。

總之2013年,自我拜拜,當下自由自在地隨心過活!

Already started working the second day I was back... this is Hong Kong...
HUGE THANKS to three sisters who helped me soooooo much!  LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!
In the middle of the night, at an old factory, an artist painting, what's next?
A great sunny day for the actual installation.
Presenting the one & only Upcycle Xmas tree at Gold Coast HK! 
My heart smiles when trash finally got transformed into art.
Make a wish, my friend. 
What's up with this kiddy looking set?  Well, I was on a TV kid's program, LOL!
Lau family with grandma
Sis, you looked stunning.  Glad to be back earlier for your big day.
Happy wedding, my beloved!
Believe it or not, this is indeed HK.  NO KIDDING.
Happy Gale looks tiny in the rocky scene.
My tough & lovely Ship who is always up for any challenge.
Oh yea baby, I modeled again... this time with plants.
Love the scarf.
Haven't modeled for almost half a year.  Brought back lots of memories. 
Seven Deadly Sins Opening Performance.
wrestling ring
bottom of the pit
isolated corner
Underneath Sloth - one of the paintings for the exhibition
Participated in Moving Arts Hong Kong, I danced with the waves, the sands, and the light in my homeland.  My scene is at the last 30 seconds of this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHvMsfYDMAg
The 3 babies united at last.  Good show, my dear!
CHEERS, for 2013!
The nomadic art grant is still on.  For details, http://hongkong.estudio-nomada.com/