Saturday, February 11, 2012

Honest Truth

YOU DID IT!  I am sooooo proud of you!  This is not a dream.  We made it!
Can’t believe it as well.  I was literally in shock the moment I decided to write the letter to my parents.

The timing has come.  Since you said yes to share your story on Chris’s second book about depression, this decision is bound to happen as you want to be true without holding anything back.
Yes, because that also means my past struggles about homosexuality along with all the other issues will be public.  I would not want my family to find out about who I really am through a third source, like a book.  Thus, my only option is to compose a personal letter and tell them myself.

Though they still can’t accept that part of you, they love and support you all the way.  Isn’t that more than enough?
Of course, I am exceptionally grateful for their response.  We don’t have to agree on everything as long as we can respect each other.

Life is such a fascinating tale.  Your past 30 years were mostly about struggle.  Now even your strongest chain is set loose; you will have so much more energy to live and create.
It just keeps getting better.  Who knows what else will occur in the remaining time of my journey?  Yet my spirit is at ease.  I trust in life, and the flow is my greatest teacher. 

Aren’t you a little scared cos you have no concrete plan as of now?
My faith is firm.  Something will pop up sooner or later.  No rush.  Life is magnificent when you take your time to taste it.

You have indeed grown up, my love.  Please don’t forget I will continue to be by your side when you need me.
Muah! ^,^

一個困擾我30年的難題,終於在2012年劃上句號,無須再編謊話,能夠真誠地過活,是我一直夢寐以求的人生。

上回提到,那個重要的決定,其實是一封給家人的信,內容講述我的成長經歷,由小時候被排斥、同性性取向的掙扎、與基督信仰的糾纏與分離、抑鬱邊緣的崩潰到從谷底中爬出來及今時今日的蛻變,這些他們一直不知道的事,我都一一詳述。

那些重得驚人的包袱,會隨歲月變得輕省,到時機成熟,放下的一剎那,方才發覺我真的已長大,父母家姐雖然未能認同我的性取向,但他們對我的愛與支持仍舊不變,更為我的勇氣及經歷感到自豪,這不就是《天與地》所說的和諧嗎?不是一百個人說同一番話,是一百個人,有一百句不同的一番話之餘,而又互相尊重」親愛的爸媽,您們才是我的驕傲。


昨夜倫敦下雪了,對上一次感受雪花的燦爛,是
8年前在美國威斯康辛州實習時的冬天,久違了的嚴寒,卻剛好襯托著我熾熱暖的內心,這九個月來天氣的變更,彷彿見證著我戲劇性的變化,連這個千年心結都被解開,未來的日子,相信只會越來越豐富,然而不用急,就讓我從容不迫,靜待故事的發展。


Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
Beautiful/difficult way home - depending on how you look at it.
Sunny morning after snow.
Back to modeling.  What do you think about these pieces? 
Brought my beloved David to Passing Clouds on his last but my first night in London.  Will miss you, my love.
Farewell drink for Felix.  We shall meet in Germany!
Lovely Indian dinner with Polly during my last weekend in BCN.
Notice how I look differently?  Hint: Harry Potter.
The remaining gang before closing my last minute goodbye painting exhibition - living flow.  Amazed at how many people actually showed up despite the cold weather, I felt compelled to make a little speech about how art met my life during this journey.  
On my last day in BCN, I finally visited the famous Park Güell by Gaudi.  He lived here for 20 years.
Magnificent city view from the park.
 Lots of organic & natural shapes - just the way I like it.
Especially take pleasure in the rural part of the park.
Stopped by Caixa Forum - a very intriguing cultural centre.
Though the current exhibition was not impressive, I simply enjoyed spending time in this exceptional space with modern and classic architecture.  
Will always remember the gorgeous night view at the port.
How many cold nights did I run pass this scene to the boat?
It would have been terrific if I had the opportunity to try one of these boats, which I walked by everyday.
Presenting my shower room and toilet!
One morning I couldn't get a hold of the organizer of the squat and waited outside for an hour.  LOOK, I'm so used to posing now, lol!
My installation is site specific.
And it grows from the materials of the space.
It's coming alive!
Stay tuned for more pics on my web site later.